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LJ Idol 8: Ranting, This is How We Do It
Ranting - LJ Style.
Normally when we get a topic from the Idol Powers that Be, I put up a post on my LJ and see what people think. (It seems that few of them think much about it at all. *eyes the flist critically*)
But when I saw this one, I laughed.
When it comes to the LJ Rant, I’m pretty sure I have the basic idea down. Rather than demonstrate my prowess, I decided to attempt a meta article on Ranting: LJ Style.
Fundamentals
There are three basic types of rant.
1. The “I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!” Rant – This type of rant is characterized by an “issue.” During the recent US Election, it enjoyed a certain heretofore unseen popularity, usually only matched during certain periods of time during the year encompassing the annual discussion-rants about race, religion, sexuality, general discrimination and other such PC adventures definitely fall in this category, as do reactions to certain high profile events and/or television shows and/or movies.
2. The “WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!” Rant – In everyday life, this is known as a pity party. It’s probably the most popular rant that people engage in, at least in my experience. It usually follows fights with spouses, bosses, children, friends and/or total strangers. A popular twist on the theme springs from the type of events that none of us can control – traffic jams, missed flights, sick pets, etc.
3. The “OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS” Rant – This is by far the most entertaining rant available. In my own personal experience, it follows something joyous or amusing or exciting and is characterized by a general sense of “AAAAAAAAAAAA.” This type of rant generally bridges the gap between a persons public life and expectations (see the Empowered Rant for more examples) and a person’s private life (see the Woe Rant for more examples).
In order to further clarify, I will provide examples from my own past LJ Rants.
Empowerment Rant:
I have no tolerance for your hatred. Spew it elsewhere. I. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE. IT.
But consider this a warning now. I won't listen to you spew forth racist hatred or filth. It shames you for speaking it and reveals more about you than it does about anyone else. I won't shame myself by listening to it in silence.
Woe Rant:
I live six miles from work. SIX MILES.
It took me two hours to get here. TWO FRIGGING HOURS!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!
ARGGH!!!!!!!!!
Excitement Rant:
if you don't take Rahm seriously...
HE SENDS YOU DEAD FISH IN THE MAIL!!! TRUFAX!!! HE CALLS YOU OUT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND ASKS IF YOU'RE F***ING STUPID!? HE'LL SCREAM AT YOU OVER THE PHONE ABOUT HOW HE'S GOING TO F*** YOU AND KILL YOU. (But it's okay, because he loves you. Bye!)
Stylistic Choices
All three types of rant share certain style characteristics.
The ever so popular CAPSLOCK OF RAGE/DESPAIR/GLEE is probably the most common. It adds a certain emphasis to a rant, which otherwise is lacking. Take for example: I live six miles from work. SIX MILES.
The Repetition of the phrase six miles alone would add emphasis, yet, by CAPSLOCKING there is a certain implication that somewhere in the world, I am sitting at my computer and that my eyes have gone wide, my nostrils are flared and I'm so incredulous that I've lost the ability for more coherent speech.
A second example of CAPSLOCK, more commonly seen with the Empowerment rant, and often intermingled with a second style choice (the addition of Extraneous Punctuation) can be seen in this sentence: I. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE. IT.
Here the point of the CAPSLOCK is not to imply wide eyed incredulity, but a warning that the speaker's patience is near an end. The use of CAPSLOCK here implies consequences, dire or otherwise, for the unwary reader who fails to heed the warning.
The addition of Extraneous Punctuation changes the interpretation slightly. It implies a staccato speech pattern, which in real life, usually heralds the last sane period of conversation before screeching rage takes over.
The final example of CAPSLOCK can be seen in the example above for the Excitement Rant. ENTIRE SENTENCES, COMPLETE WITH EXTRANEOUS PUNCTUATION, ARE CAPITALIZED TO EXPRESS SUCH A SURGE OF EMOTION THAT MERE LOWERCASE LETTERS CANNOT ADEQUATELY EXPRESS IT. This style choice is appropriate for either RAGE RANTS or GLEEGASMS. (The example above is clearly a GLEEGASM.) Capitalized letters imply shouting, thus they imply BIG reactions.
I would warn readers against too much use of the CAPSLOCK only because if overused, it looses its power. Also, because as much as I would like otherwise, it's hard to carry that style of communication into actual speech. Most people simply will not tolerate someone screeching at them for an extended period of time. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE.
Having gone over CAPSLOCK, Repetition, Extraneous Punctuation, RAGE RANTS and GLEEGASMS, there is one other commonly used style choice that I would like to discuss. The "Made Up Word" phenomenon has become quite the rage on the internet. In fact, it's fallen into everyday use in many cases. Take for example, OMG. We all know it stands for Oh my God, but the impact of OMG is a little different than actually seeing those words. For one, it implies speed of response. Instead of typing out seven letters, it's three quick letters, complete with CAPSLOCK emphasis.
Compare and contrast: Oh my God. OMG. Oh my God!!! OMG!! Oh. My. God. O.M.G. Each has a slightly different interpretation. The casual ranter may have difficulty picking up on them at first, but experience and practice soon reveal the subtle nuances to the eager.
Other commonly seen Made Up Words include: OMFG!, WTF?!, PH34R, and my personal favorite, OMFGWTFBBQ. OMGWTFBBQ illustrates how some common Made Up Words are evolving. OMG (Oh my God) WTF (What the Fuck?!) are common enough, but by adding an additional element, BBQ (Bar-B-Que), it quickly remakes the Made Up Word and now implies extra thoughts about the situation indicating that whatever it is, it is bizarre.
Observe: "I was in a car accident this morning."
"OMG!!"
"I swerved to avoid hitting someone who was crossing the street against the light."
"OMGWTF?!"
"He was riding a unicycle."
"OMGWTFBBQ?!"
Perhaps the most commonly seen Made Up Word is: alkdfjaldkjf - or a variation thereof. This one is simply interpreted. Whatever the reader has just seen, it has robbed him or her of coherent speech altogether. This response most often follows some sort of sensory stimulation - a hot picture, or a risqué piece of fiction. Almost always, this one should be taken as a compliment.
A variation on the Made Up Word is LOLSPEAK. Made infamous by "I can haz cheezburger," LOLSPEAK has become a way of life on the internet. Love it or hate it, it certainly bypasses quite a few other style choices and settles on something that is becoming universal. It's characterized by short sentences, poor grammar and misspelled words. It is also usually designed to imply a humorous note.
This style choice can be used with any type of rant, but perhaps it's most applicable to the Woe or Excitment varieties.
Consider: My job sucks. I can haz hometiem noa?
Or: THAT'S RITE! I'M IN UR FANFIC, SLEEPNZ WIT' [insert character name].
LOLSPEAK is a powerful tool and should not be underestimated by the uninitiated. Some would argue that macros using LOLSPEAK have become the new voice of the politically dissident. Consider how many macros of President Bush, President-Elect Obama, Senator McCain and certainly Governor Sarah Palin were floating around during the election. They were funny, true, but they carried an often times powerful message that sufficed to cast doubt on these individuals morality, behavior and intelligence.
Sound Effects/Implied Actions
Personally, I am a fan of both the *sound effect* and the *implied action* in a rant. It helps make the reading experience richer, in my opinion. Now, the rant not only explains the situation, complete with the implied condition of the writer, but it can be auditory and visual as well .
The use of the asterix * is a common indicator that the author now wishes you to imagine a noise or a scene.
Take for example: My boss is such an asshole! I just can't even... *screams* I mean, he actually told me that I needed to reinvent the wheel. *headdesk*
Also, consider. "OMG! SO HOT. *drools*"
While sound effects and implied actions generally require little work to use correctly, they can enrich a good rant exponentially.
Accessories
Finally, no rant would be complete without accessories. First and foremost, the LJ Icon used when posting the rant can make or break the atmosphere the author is intending. As it is largely a matter of personal choice, I shall simply display some of the more common choices I make when I rant. (I'm not an icon maker. Credit can be found at my LJ.)
“I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!”
“WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!”
“OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS”
Other than icons, there are a wealth of macros to choose from as well. Given that my current obsession is Rahm Emanuel, most of my macros at the moment are of him. But, observe and see how one of these macros might emphasize the point in my rant.
“I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!”
“WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!”
“OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS”
Conclusion
Although there are as many ways to rant as there are LJ users, I believe that certain themes and elements can be commonly traced throughout all rants. I hope that I have highlighted them here and provided anyone new to the art of ranting a useful guide. I would love to hear reader's thoughts on anything that I might have missed.
Thanks for reading!
This entry was written in response to the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
therealljidol Challenge 8: Ranting - LJ Style. There will be voting for this week's entries. I will make sure to link to the poll once it is put up and I would appreciate it if you would vote for me if you enjoy my entry. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
Normally when we get a topic from the Idol Powers that Be, I put up a post on my LJ and see what people think. (It seems that few of them think much about it at all. *eyes the flist critically*)
But when I saw this one, I laughed.
When it comes to the LJ Rant, I’m pretty sure I have the basic idea down. Rather than demonstrate my prowess, I decided to attempt a meta article on Ranting: LJ Style.
Fundamentals
There are three basic types of rant.
1. The “I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!” Rant – This type of rant is characterized by an “issue.” During the recent US Election, it enjoyed a certain heretofore unseen popularity, usually only matched during certain periods of time during the year encompassing the annual discussion-rants about race, religion, sexuality, general discrimination and other such PC adventures definitely fall in this category, as do reactions to certain high profile events and/or television shows and/or movies.
2. The “WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!” Rant – In everyday life, this is known as a pity party. It’s probably the most popular rant that people engage in, at least in my experience. It usually follows fights with spouses, bosses, children, friends and/or total strangers. A popular twist on the theme springs from the type of events that none of us can control – traffic jams, missed flights, sick pets, etc.
3. The “OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS” Rant – This is by far the most entertaining rant available. In my own personal experience, it follows something joyous or amusing or exciting and is characterized by a general sense of “AAAAAAAAAAAA.” This type of rant generally bridges the gap between a persons public life and expectations (see the Empowered Rant for more examples) and a person’s private life (see the Woe Rant for more examples).
In order to further clarify, I will provide examples from my own past LJ Rants.
Empowerment Rant:
I have no tolerance for your hatred. Spew it elsewhere. I. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE. IT.
But consider this a warning now. I won't listen to you spew forth racist hatred or filth. It shames you for speaking it and reveals more about you than it does about anyone else. I won't shame myself by listening to it in silence.
Woe Rant:
I live six miles from work. SIX MILES.
It took me two hours to get here. TWO FRIGGING HOURS!!!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!
ARGGH!!!!!!!!!
Excitement Rant:
if you don't take Rahm seriously...
HE SENDS YOU DEAD FISH IN THE MAIL!!! TRUFAX!!! HE CALLS YOU OUT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND ASKS IF YOU'RE F***ING STUPID!? HE'LL SCREAM AT YOU OVER THE PHONE ABOUT HOW HE'S GOING TO F*** YOU AND KILL YOU. (But it's okay, because he loves you. Bye!)
Stylistic Choices
All three types of rant share certain style characteristics.
The ever so popular CAPSLOCK OF RAGE/DESPAIR/GLEE is probably the most common. It adds a certain emphasis to a rant, which otherwise is lacking. Take for example: I live six miles from work. SIX MILES.
The Repetition of the phrase six miles alone would add emphasis, yet, by CAPSLOCKING there is a certain implication that somewhere in the world, I am sitting at my computer and that my eyes have gone wide, my nostrils are flared and I'm so incredulous that I've lost the ability for more coherent speech.
A second example of CAPSLOCK, more commonly seen with the Empowerment rant, and often intermingled with a second style choice (the addition of Extraneous Punctuation) can be seen in this sentence: I. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE. IT.
Here the point of the CAPSLOCK is not to imply wide eyed incredulity, but a warning that the speaker's patience is near an end. The use of CAPSLOCK here implies consequences, dire or otherwise, for the unwary reader who fails to heed the warning.
The addition of Extraneous Punctuation changes the interpretation slightly. It implies a staccato speech pattern, which in real life, usually heralds the last sane period of conversation before screeching rage takes over.
The final example of CAPSLOCK can be seen in the example above for the Excitement Rant. ENTIRE SENTENCES, COMPLETE WITH EXTRANEOUS PUNCTUATION, ARE CAPITALIZED TO EXPRESS SUCH A SURGE OF EMOTION THAT MERE LOWERCASE LETTERS CANNOT ADEQUATELY EXPRESS IT. This style choice is appropriate for either RAGE RANTS or GLEEGASMS. (The example above is clearly a GLEEGASM.) Capitalized letters imply shouting, thus they imply BIG reactions.
I would warn readers against too much use of the CAPSLOCK only because if overused, it looses its power. Also, because as much as I would like otherwise, it's hard to carry that style of communication into actual speech. Most people simply will not tolerate someone screeching at them for an extended period of time. WILL. NOT. TOLERATE.
Having gone over CAPSLOCK, Repetition, Extraneous Punctuation, RAGE RANTS and GLEEGASMS, there is one other commonly used style choice that I would like to discuss. The "Made Up Word" phenomenon has become quite the rage on the internet. In fact, it's fallen into everyday use in many cases. Take for example, OMG. We all know it stands for Oh my God, but the impact of OMG is a little different than actually seeing those words. For one, it implies speed of response. Instead of typing out seven letters, it's three quick letters, complete with CAPSLOCK emphasis.
Compare and contrast: Oh my God. OMG. Oh my God!!! OMG!! Oh. My. God. O.M.G. Each has a slightly different interpretation. The casual ranter may have difficulty picking up on them at first, but experience and practice soon reveal the subtle nuances to the eager.
Other commonly seen Made Up Words include: OMFG!, WTF?!, PH34R, and my personal favorite, OMFGWTFBBQ. OMGWTFBBQ illustrates how some common Made Up Words are evolving. OMG (Oh my God) WTF (What the Fuck?!) are common enough, but by adding an additional element, BBQ (Bar-B-Que), it quickly remakes the Made Up Word and now implies extra thoughts about the situation indicating that whatever it is, it is bizarre.
Observe: "I was in a car accident this morning."
"OMG!!"
"I swerved to avoid hitting someone who was crossing the street against the light."
"OMGWTF?!"
"He was riding a unicycle."
"OMGWTFBBQ?!"
Perhaps the most commonly seen Made Up Word is: alkdfjaldkjf - or a variation thereof. This one is simply interpreted. Whatever the reader has just seen, it has robbed him or her of coherent speech altogether. This response most often follows some sort of sensory stimulation - a hot picture, or a risqué piece of fiction. Almost always, this one should be taken as a compliment.
A variation on the Made Up Word is LOLSPEAK. Made infamous by "I can haz cheezburger," LOLSPEAK has become a way of life on the internet. Love it or hate it, it certainly bypasses quite a few other style choices and settles on something that is becoming universal. It's characterized by short sentences, poor grammar and misspelled words. It is also usually designed to imply a humorous note.
This style choice can be used with any type of rant, but perhaps it's most applicable to the Woe or Excitment varieties.
Consider: My job sucks. I can haz hometiem noa?
Or: THAT'S RITE! I'M IN UR FANFIC, SLEEPNZ WIT' [insert character name].
LOLSPEAK is a powerful tool and should not be underestimated by the uninitiated. Some would argue that macros using LOLSPEAK have become the new voice of the politically dissident. Consider how many macros of President Bush, President-Elect Obama, Senator McCain and certainly Governor Sarah Palin were floating around during the election. They were funny, true, but they carried an often times powerful message that sufficed to cast doubt on these individuals morality, behavior and intelligence.
Sound Effects/Implied Actions
Personally, I am a fan of both the *sound effect* and the *implied action* in a rant. It helps make the reading experience richer, in my opinion. Now, the rant not only explains the situation, complete with the implied condition of the writer, but it can be auditory and visual as well .
The use of the asterix * is a common indicator that the author now wishes you to imagine a noise or a scene.
Take for example: My boss is such an asshole! I just can't even... *screams* I mean, he actually told me that I needed to reinvent the wheel. *headdesk*
Also, consider. "OMG! SO HOT. *drools*"
While sound effects and implied actions generally require little work to use correctly, they can enrich a good rant exponentially.
Accessories
Finally, no rant would be complete without accessories. First and foremost, the LJ Icon used when posting the rant can make or break the atmosphere the author is intending. As it is largely a matter of personal choice, I shall simply display some of the more common choices I make when I rant. (I'm not an icon maker. Credit can be found at my LJ.)
“I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!”
“WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!”
“OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS”
Other than icons, there are a wealth of macros to choose from as well. Given that my current obsession is Rahm Emanuel, most of my macros at the moment are of him. But, observe and see how one of these macros might emphasize the point in my rant.
“I’M EMPOWERED, PH34R ME!”
“WOE, MY LIFE IZ AWFUL, BE SAD 4 ME NOA!”
“OMFGWTFBBQ, I’M SO EXCITED I CAN’T EVEN EXPRESS IT IN WORDS”
Conclusion
Although there are as many ways to rant as there are LJ users, I believe that certain themes and elements can be commonly traced throughout all rants. I hope that I have highlighted them here and provided anyone new to the art of ranting a useful guide. I would love to hear reader's thoughts on anything that I might have missed.
Thanks for reading!
This entry was written in response to the
therealljidol Challenge 8: Ranting - LJ Style. There will be voting for this week's entries. I will make sure to link to the poll once it is put up and I would appreciate it if you would vote for me if you enjoy my entry. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.
Whoa...
Re: Whoa...
So, if I go down on this one, at least I amused myself on the way. :)
Also, Rahm is pleased that you like his icons. :)
Also
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This was awesome :)
*grins ear to ear*
(wickedly even)
hahahahaha
Re: This was awesome :)
*bows*
Glad you enjoyed. :D
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The rest? Absolutely. Caps, bolds, punctuation...it's all there. You are a wise and learned LJ Rant adviser.
I'm totally voting for you again this week! Also, Rahm totally cracked me up, too.
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Hehehe, and my services as Rant Advisor are available. ;)
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Also, now I've got, "You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!" stuck in my head about a month too early. ;)
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Hehehe, n00b. ;)
Happy Friday to you too. I miss you. :( Beer date soon, yes?
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Just a note, though - the text with numbers included is technically "733+speak" isn't it?
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
Thanks for letting me know!
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I really appreciate that.
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I love this. I love the whole thing, but especially this, and the phrase "gleegasms", which I will be shamefully theiving.
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*tsks you*
Shameful thief!
Please, take the word. It makes me laugh to say it, and it would make me laugh even more to read it. :)
I'm gald you enjoyed the post! It was a lot of fun to write.
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Using all I learned in one omment . Yay!
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And thanks hon. I'm glad you enjoyed it! I hope you're having fun on your trip. :)
HEhehe, and no worries. If I was going to fuck off, I'd go in the other direction just to be spiteful. ;)
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Of course you'd go the other way - I'd expect nothign less. :D
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Also: This is made of win. (I almost said "THIS IS MADE OF WIN." But in real life I would have said it loudly and quickly, with little to no inflectional variation. See what I mean?)
I wish someone would send me dead fish in the mail. It would make my life. In a horrifying, disgusting sort of way.
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Capslock is true to life?! SWEET!!!! *grins*
I wish someone would send me dead fish in the mail. It would make my life. In a horrifying, disgusting sort of way.
*shifty eyes* This can be arranged.
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Translation: I am well pleased that I happened to read your very insightful article regarding rants. I believe it has merit well past those of others I have read. This is an article I am very enthused to recommend to my friends. Thank you for having me.
(*grin*)
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And thank you. It was fun to write. I had a good time with it.
*grins*
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Tell them it's postmodern.
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The macros made me happy, too - that Rahm Emanuel is a fox, no? ;)
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And yes, Rahm Emanuel... Mmmmm. adlkfj;ak
*grins*
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I really dug this entry, and the Rahm pics were appreciated!
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Thank you so much. :D And Rahm pictures are always appreciated. I joined
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And, though I hate to, I have to say this. In fact no, I don't! *grin* Maybe on the phone. Or maybe never! If I say anything now it will come out stronger than I mean it and it's just not worth it. Sorry for being semi-cryptic.
Interesting writing hon, anyway!
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It was a fun piece to write. *lol*
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"OMGWTFBBQ?!"
That made me LOLz! ;)
I also have a friend who uses alkdfjaldkjf - or a variation thereof quite often, heh. :)
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And alkdfjak is a great word - very expressive for all you can't say it. *grins*
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