LJI: The Unread Riot Acts of Bewize

[bewize]

Did you ever see the Disney cartoon where Donald Duck went to Mathematics Land, which looked a lot like Disney's version of Wonderland? That cartoon really impressed me as a child, but not the bits about math or science. No, I was struck and forever branded with the image of the brain being a storage room. In the cartoon, Donald had to "clean out" his brain to make room for more important things (like math), but the cartoon image showed brooms and dustpans magically going to work.

Viola.

I have forever thought of the brain as that storage room (only more updated and modern now, like from Inside Out, of course).

All of this lead up should help explain why there is a file in my brain called "The Unread Riot Acts." Simply put, it's the storage space for where all of my unspoken outrage goes. I literally will picture binding it up, like a book, and putting it on that shelf - rather than speaking my outrage aloud into existence in the world.

For example, let's take dinner last night. The boyfriend, baby and I took a really good friend out to dinner. We went to a new restaurant with good reviews to receive probably the worst service I've had anywhere in a while.

The server kept vanishing - and the restaurant wasn't that full. She wasn't in the weeds - she was just not on top of her game. The food took a long time to come out. The plates the food was served on were extremely hot - probably to disguise the lukewarm food.

So, picture it. Three adults in a booth. A baby in a highchair at the end of the booth. The server kept setting EVERYTHING in front of the baby. Now, if you have children (or have been a server), you know this is a poor choice. Everything - and I mean EVERYTHING - is immediately grabbed, groped, crunched and eventually hurled to the floor.

The three adults keep moving things out of his reach, but this server just kept setting things down there, oblivious.

By the time my food came out (which was second to last, because it made perfect sense to feed the baby last), there was no space left on the table to hide another hot plate. The server marched over, hot plate firmly grasped in oven mitts and prepared to set it on the only clear space left - right in front of the baby.

Now, she was present and (theoretically) cognizant of the discussions we'd had about the two previous hot plates She witnessed our scramble to keep the baby from putting his hands on them.

So, I said - and I was speaking mildly - "You cannot set a hot plate like that in front of the baby."

She looks at me and said, with some attitude, I will add. "Well - where do you suggest I put it?"

Just like that - BOOM - the Riot Script was written.

I had suggestions of where she could put that plate, y'all. I had SO. MANY. SUGGESTIONS.

I also had commentary on her service, her attitude, the speed of service and a few other choice observations.

I am not normally reticent to share my suggestions or observations. That's not my speed. But... we were celebrating and I didn't want to make a scene. So, I took a deep breath and said...


NOTHING.


I just stared at this girl until she suggested setting the hot plate on an empty table behind us. I nodded my head, pursed my lips a bit, and said, "That seems like a wise choice."

I am not sure how she interpreted that interaction. I am sure that the manager was the one who served our table for the rest of our meal. I am sure that my friend across the table was amused at my superior show of self control. I am sure that, as I sat there and mentally wrapped up the Riot Act for the shelf in the brain, I suddenly knew what I was going to write for Idol.

I suspect that this naive (idiotic), young (moronic), unobservant (clueless) server (nitwit) felt the icy breath of her demise on her neck. I suspect she realized that she nearly experienced what I call a "Come to Jesus Moment." I suspect that she couldn't quite settle the shake in her knees and thus, had to be excused from serving us for the remainder of our meal.

I also reinforced my own belief that sometimes, an unread Riot Act is as effective - or even more so - than one that is read aloud.

So now, the shelf has one more bound act sitting, gathering dust. It's next to the Unread Riot Act of "Explain how 'I'll do it Tuesday' means Friday," and "If you're late to the doctor, we cancel you and charge you; but if you sit here an hour, you just have to eat it." It's stacked on top of "Amazon promised you'd have this package tomorrow, but they lied," and "So what if you asked for no meat, that bacon is just a garnish."

If we're lucky, the shelf will remain untouched and un-added to for a while. At least the remainder of the day. If we're lucky.

But, who among us is that lucky?



This entry was written for therealljidol 03: "Tsundoku." According to Google: Tsundoku (Japanese: 積ん読) is acquiring reading materials but letting them pile up in one's home without reading them. If there is voting, I will share the poll. Thanks.

Comments

[adoptedwriter]

How frustrating.

[bleodswean]

Ooooh, what a great interpretation of the prompt AND all the unread riot acts each of us is burying somewhere. I love the brain storage room. Funny how those things we saw as children left imprints!

Fantastically well-written and good for you!

[sonreir]

Ha! I admire your self-control; I would have been unable to keep myself from saying something. Great entry!

[bsgsix]

This was such a smart and unique take on the prompt, and I have to say that, as a person with amnesia who considers small lumps of memory to be "files," I connected to this. And I also chuckled at the "Amazon promised you'd have this package tomorrow, but they lied" line near the end, because that just happened to me today and I wanted to throw my computer as I laughed.

Relatable, clever, and so well-written.

[cadenzamuse]

This is incredibly relateable. Especially the particular NOT IN FRONT OF THE BABY problem that just seems to happen every so often at restaurants.

[song_of_thea]

This was brilliant!

[tonithegreat]

Sometimes it feels like my life is a litany of deciding whether to rant(politely) or not! I have to share my critiques with my clients, usually with a fast turn-around. But there are days when I then feel like I’ve used up all my “make this critique kind” juice at the office, and I just end up being overly short with my family. My first thought upon reading this was, “If only more of my rants remained on the brain shelf!” But, on the other hand, it would be a terrible thing not to be able to lay out concerns when they need to be aired.

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Ha! I really admire your patience and I usually tend to blurt out something sarcastic in such a situation. I really liked the idea of "Unread Riot Act" and it goes so well with the prompt. I am sorry that you had to deal with this situation. But I enjoyed this unique take. Especially the other titles in the riot act :)

[codenamewanderlust]

"rather than speaking my outrage aloud into existence in the world"

---turning your outrage shelf into artistic self expression :)

this line first made me think about how I recently speaking out about social and political change instead of being afraid to express my outrage

[rayaso]

This was a great use of the prompt! I love the idea of accumulating unread Riot Act "books" in your mind. The picture you painted of the restaurant was excellent.

[tjoel2]

You have far more restraint than I do! I totally would have let that girl have it. LOL

[dmousey]

Ahhh, yes. Silence, along with the 'Mom Stank' face I'm sure you were subconsciously giving her, can often be more effective!!


The server was taught a valuable lesson, which I doubt she'll never forget. Anyhoo, thanks for sharing. ✌😊 ~~~d

[halfshellvenus]

Oh, boy-- so much self-restraint, especially with an idiot server who seemed to want to lead your baby to injury again and again.

I don't know how you managed to keep that in, I really don't.

But I am glad it worked out. Wow.

"Explain how 'I'll do it Tuesday' means Friday"
Argh-- I'm sure we've all run up against this far too often.

I really liked the approach you took to the prompt here. That storage room is already fuller than most people's, given how little many of us hold back these days. :O

[nayanawrites]

This was a good take .... restraint when it is most needed might not be something we all can boast of.

The concept of unread riots has set my thoughts in process.

Well Done.

[alycewilson]

Can I tell you how much I love this?! The voice of this piece sounds a lot like my friend Jessica, who will always regale us with stories like this. However, I have yet to hear her say a truly unkind word to anyone, despite all her tough talk.

[murielle]

Oh for your self control!

I don't have a shelf, but I have a wall. That wall bears the brunt of my unhurled rebuttals, snappy put downs, and scathingly sarcastic comebacks. Also more than a few complete meltdowns. I save it all, or most of it, for my wall. With what it has to put up with I should at least give it a name...how about Harvey?

Brilliant piece!