I need a drink. And it's only 10:13.

I have clearly started today as I finished yesterday and Sunday - with increasingly random weirdness and a growing sense of impending doom, coupled with a lot of self-inflicted WTF-ery.

I ended up having to go to court for S this morning and that was a complete fiasco. I abandoned ship and he will have to show up and see if he can't fix it, but when I left there were people vowing to do "whatever it takes" to see the other side fucked over.

Then, I get to the office and am setting up when a crazy lady walks in and demands to use the phone. I tell her we don't have a public phone and she gets so belligerent that I finally relent, because I didn't particularly want to stab her in the face with my pen, which was where my thoughts had taken me with increasing pressure.

While she's on the phone having a meltdown at whomever, I try to make breakfast and coffee. I burn breakfast and I spill coffee all over the place, including my foot which is sprouting a nice little red burn now, and in the midst of the symphony of curse words I'm spilling, coupled with the cacophonous sound of Crazy Lady yelling in the phone, one of B's client's walks in and gets irate that B isn't here.

At this point, I've reached the end of my tether and I ask if he had an appointment, he says no, and I ask if he sees the problem or if I need to spell it out for him. He apparently decides not to piss off the crazy lady with the one red eye (b/c oh, yes, left eye problems are back) and meekly asks me to leave B a note, which I do.

Then I go and tell Crazy Lady to wrap it up.

I call my paralegal and tell her to stop at the grocery store and buy paper towels and non-powder coffee creamer (b/c the boys only buy that nasty shit when I send them).

Then, B arrives and says that L was in a wreck, but she's okay.

That's 4 wrecks in the last few weeks, folks. M, B, me, L - usually these happen in threes, we may be going for a double, so watch yourselves.

I am on my last day of antibiotics. At least, I think I am. The left eye problem may suggest something different. FML.

Still Not Winning Today

So, I promised someone that I would call the eye doc today after my eye was all wonky again yesterday. Little did I know that the nurse would get pretty concerned from my description and tell me to come in. I even ended up talking to the doc (whom I really do like) and she told me to anticipate dilation.

Now, here's the thing - for anyone new to the Home Game of Bewize's Life - I don't like eye things. This is a mild understatement. I have fled movies after an unexpected eye scene. The only time in my life I've ever come close to fainting was at the eye doc when they wanted to do the puff of air test. i have left several doctor's offices in high dudgeon over that puff of air test. I have managed it ONE TIME in my life. That's it.

Ditto the dilation thing. I've never actually had that done before today.

I get there and it takes me about 15 minutes to work up the guts to even go through the door. Then I see her and tell her what's going on, and about the other antibiotics, and she says, "I can tell that you're eye isn't great without doing anything. It's swollen and red."

She looks and gets even more concerned, at which point I am now shaking, because she's done such terrible things as put her hand on my cheek and shine a light in my eye. It took me almost ten minutes before I was able to agree to let her dilate my eyes, during which time I'm literally shaking like a leaf and am half afraid I'm going to throw up.

I have a question that someone asked in the back of my head, "What are you afraid will happen?"

Honestly, I'm afraid my eye ball will fall out of my skull. Yes, that's ridiculous. But there you have it. And I never promised to not be ridiculous.

I couldn't do it. I ended up pacing in the parking lot, for a few minutes, collecting myself again, before I finally agreed. The doctor was so nice. She actually paced with me until I was calm enough to let her do it.

For the record - it wasn't terrible. It wasn't pleasant, no, but it didn't hurt. It did sting a bit, but the worst part was still my growing concern that I might vomit.

I was also pretty upset by the realization that I couldn't work for the rest of the afternoon. Or at least, that I couldn't see to work up close. I'm typing this with the hope that I'm not making too many typos, because I still can't see a damn thing - at least not easily. I've also got sunglasses on, not, because I'm doing my movie star impression, as was the guess of the maintenance crew, but because light hurts my eyes.

I'm a bit afraid to drive. Because, on top of all this, my vision is still blurry, which was the problem to begin with here.

Anyway. She thinks it's allergies and an infection. I told her I'd been on antibiotics for the last 27 days with one more day to go, and she decided to opt for antibiotic drops. We compromised on the contacts/glasses debate.

I have to go back on Friday.

I am mot happy about any of this, except the part where my eyeballs didn't fall out of my head. I'm very, very happy about that.

I'm still not doing the puff of air test.

Oh, and randomly, the technician asked for my phone number. Apparently, he digs hysterical girls. *fails*