bewize | Entries tagged with happy thoughts

After finishing 10% Happier, I decided I had nothing to lose by trying to meditate for 5 minutes a day during November.

I cannot do it without music, but Pandora offers several "meditation music" options, so it may be a cheat, but... *shrug* It may also just be a starting place.

One of the things Harris mentioned in the book was to see what thoughts arose and whether there was anything you can do about them.

I note the following types of thoughts:

* Physical discomfort (aches, pains, etc.)
* Concerns about my SO and his job
* Thoughts about how I can't meditate
* Random thoughts about work, food, life, etc.
* Thoughts about how I need to do X better

That is the rough universe of thoughts that intrude, but I can see a pattern already.

What can I do about them:

* Self-care (yoga, stretching, doctors, massage, exercise, movement)
* Help with some activities (putting in grades) and emotional support (which means more self-care, so I have more to offer)
* Dismiss these as self-defeating waste of time
* Acknowledge and push aside until a better time, focus on those things in a dedicated way when it is time
* Try and reframe as cheering, not belittling, and again focus on those things in a dedicated way when it is time

The acronym Harris gave was RAIN: The book outlines the mindfulness tool, RAIN, an acronym for a four-step process: recognize, allow, investigate and nurture.

That concept was the one that really got me interested. What thoughts are rampaging in my brain that I might be able to harness better and use to my benefit, instead of my detriment?

I have never seen Mount Rushmore, except in photographs and film. While I wouldn't necessarily refuse to go if it was convenient, it's not some place that would feature high on my dream vacation destinations. I'm tired of going to see "Old White Man History," white-washed and devoid of the richness and significance the Mountain held for those who came before Charles E. Rushmore and his guide, William Challis named it without thought. (“What’s the name of that mountain?” Rushmore allegedly asked. Challis is said to have replied, “It’s never had one...till now...we’ll call the damn thing Rushmore.”)

Danish-American sculptor Gutzon Borglum is much more interesting to me than Rushmore and Challis. Borglum had the wild and crazy dream to carve a mountain. Consulting only his son, supposedly, Borglum decided to choose subject material that would stir the nation and picked four presidents, hoping to capture certain characteristics of each man and literally carve them into stone:

George Washington, chosen because he fought to create something new and better than what had existed before; Thomas Jefferson, chosen to represent growth and inherent values; Theodore Roosevelt, chosen to represent conservation; and, lastly, Abraham Lincoln, chosen to represent perseverance.

I am no artist. I can't draw a stick figure to save my life and I wouldn't know which end of a chisel to use. But, when it comes to moving mountains, each of us has our own experiences to draw from and while our final product won't be carved into mountains, for many of us it will be carved in a final stone, summed up in a pithy epithet.

Here lies Bewize. too bad she died; she was a keeper.

At least, that's what I hope my figurative headstone would say. Forgetting the fact that I have chosen cremation, headstones come with a certain pressure to have a final word. Since we don't get to necessarily supervise the carving, we have to rely on others to make sure it's embodying our best selves.

Bewize the Daughter. Bewize the Mom. Bewize the Sister. Bewize the Friend. Bewize the Lawyer. Bewize the Entertainer. Bewize the Author. Bewize the Lover. Bewize the Student. Bewize the Band Nerd. Bewize the Cat-Owned.

These are all faces that you'll see carved into me, if you look at the right angles, with the perfect squint to your eyes. I wear them proudly - and so many more.

But, the faces of my life that I want to see (figuratively speaking, but I'm not above being a ghost) are the one that capture the values most important to me.

Bewize, chosen to represent Honor. She did her best to keep her promises and worked hard to be worthy of your respect.

Bewize, chosen to represent Integrity. She was true to herself and honest, sometimes brutally so, but she worked her whole life to learn how to speak Compassionate Honesty, Kind Honesty, and Caring Honesty more than the too oft-revered Brutal cousin.

Bewize, chosen to represent Loyalty. She would move mountains for the people she considered hers. She would stand with you, even when you couldn't stand anymore.

Bewize, chosen to represent Nurturing. She showed others how to move mountains on their own.

These are my ideals, not my reality, alas. I'm all too human, all too flawed. But, that's okay. I've got the rest of my life ahead of me, and I'm armed with dynamite, jackhammers, and determination.

What values will someone carve into stone to represent you someday?

This entry was written for therealljidol 02: "Mount Rushmore." If there is voting, I will share the poll. Thanks.

&HEARTS;

What a wonderful surprise this morning. :)

I love this commercial so much I want to marry it and have it's sarcastic babies.

Really.

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Guys, I am in an almost deliriously good mood. Things went very well last week; this weekend was awesome, if too busy; I'm looking forward to this week - even with the absolute glut of work I have to do.

I feel frigging manic - and while I don't think I am, I'm honestly not sure.

Good things:

* Made money
* New cases
* AWESOME cases
* New office space
* Standing up for myself at work
* New laptop
* New experiences that I am embracing without letting myself freak out
* Sleeping enough
* Yuletide (even with the wank, I'm still excited)
* AMAZING music videos that exist in the world that I didn't know about, but now do
* Wonderful friends
* FICS!!!!!!!
* Good food
* Beer
* People who love me and call to say so

I dunno. I don't expect it to last, but right now... I'm frigging due.

Really.

*bounces*

I'm exhausted. WTF?

Today was all right. I had a meeting, got paid, did some work, had another meeting, got a contract on a new med mal case, scheduled two new client meetings for tomorrow and still managed to get home early(ish).

Cramps suck, though. Sorry if that's TMI.

We had Texas Roadhouse for dinner, but I didn't feel great, M is sick, V is coughing and P wanted to go to work, so we didn't exactly linger, and I've been home since doing yet more work. I did have a rib though, and I've got left over ribs to eat at some point this week.

My mom told me to take some money and buy myself a new outfit. I said I wanted to pay off debt more, but she told me to shut up and listen to my mother. *lol* With an order like that, I think maybe I'll take her advice. I could use some new clothes, actually. I don't think I've bought myself new clothes (other than running clothes) since early summer, and then it was 2 dresses from Target.

Anyone want to go shopping?

I've got plans for tomorrow evening that I am looking forward to, although I can already feel the week slipping away from me. I need to remember to pack clothes to change into after work. Maybe I can sneak in a run first, too? We'll see, but running in Decatur would be awesome. All the Christmas decorations are up.

I helped Santa out this year and bought M a red wagon (Radio Flyer, of course!), which arrived today. It's very cool and all reminiscent of my own childhood. V was all emotional that I did it, but of course I did it. I would get that kid the moon if he asked me to.

He finally learned to say "Rach" and it's adorable. Half the time, he still calls me "mamamama" though. V is mommy or mombie (rhymes with zombie). I think he's finally realizing that all women aren't a derivation of "mom".

I ate a tiny snickers bar. It was tasty.

Did I mention that cramps suck?

Thanks to everyone who voted for me in LJ Idol. I'm pleased to have made it to a second week. The new topic is Deconstruction. Any suggestions?

And on that note, I'm going to bed. Where the heating pad currently lives.

I got a lot done today and I'm very pleased with myself. I'm especially pleased with the fact that I got something ready to be filed that has been hanging over my head for months. MONTHS.

I'm prepared to file it tomorrow, when I will swing by the juvenile court on my way into the office. Boo yah.

I also got into a fight with a client, which ended badly, and I suggested he fire me if he didn't want to take legal advice. I bluntly told him that would allow me to withdraw from the case and that he could go and make a cluster of it on his own without dragging me through the mud with him. He called me later, apologized, and we are going to work it out, I think. *rolls eyes*

But, these things have been causing me anxiety and I feel better about it now.

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First thing this morning, I found this link about US Marines in Afghanistan adopting kittens. You guys. I died. It's the most adorable link ever. EVER.

No seriously, if you want to make negative comments, DON'T.

This makes me very happy.

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I'm already in my PJs. I have been since 7. I don't even care. I'm a tired tired Bewize.

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This weekend, I'm going to go to Macon and see the BraggJam. I'm pretty excited, because I've talked to a lot of these bands. I shall see if I can snag any of them to say hi in person.

Also, it will be wonderful to see Steph's new house! I'm excited!

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I had a conversation today that amused me. It began, "Hey, you remember that stoned artist guy that hit on you at last year's Dragon*Con?"

I did, indeed, remember him. Turns out he's got a new book out. It just amused me that any conversation ever gets to start that way. Another artist I met at DC last year emailed me and invited me to a signing. I love that part of my life. *hearts*

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Tonight is Top Chef and Psych and both make me very, very happy. I'm also going to try and finish Comedy of Errors. It's been interesting thus far and hits my twin brother fascination hard. Two sets of twins!

I picked up Skin Trade from the library. I heard it was decent and that it has Edward in it. I'm hopeful that both are true. EDWARD! ♥

I also borrowed a Harlan Cobin book from Nat, so I will read that next.

Of course, all of this is after I finish the Lisa Shearin book that I'm almost done with. I frigging LOVE her series. Best thing I've come across in a long, long time. The heroine is awesome and genuine and neither uber!powerful or uber!bitchy. She makes mistakes. She trusts other people. She is wonderful and I love her.

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The Braves game tonight is going pretty well. J Hey stole home! Whoot!

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

I love my new shiny six months of paid account.

You have made me a VERY happy Bewize, indeed!

*twirls*

♥

( So Long. )

This entry was written in response to the

therealljidol Challenge 23 – The Best Thing. There will (probably) be voting for this week's entries. I will make sure to link to the poll once it is put up and I would appreciate it if you would vote for me if you enjoy my entry. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.

At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ~Jean Houston

( My will is unconquerable. )

The title of this entry is inspired by this Winston Churchill quote – “I have never accepted what many people have kindly said-namely that I inspired the nation. Their will was resolute and remorseless, and as it proved, unconquerable. It fell to me to express it.”

This entry was written in response to the

therealljidol Challenge 14: Resolute. There will be voting for this week's entries. I will make sure to link to the poll once it is put up and I would appreciate it if you would vote for me if you enjoy my entry. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.

... waking up to the sound of a cat purring as he snuggles against you, for no reason other than he loves you.

... the way that the Christmas lights twinkle, even when your tree is bedraggled and looks like it's been through a shredder.

... the sound of a friend's voice on the phone, calling to wish you a good day.

... the way your mother, even when she drives you nuts, still knows just what to say to make you laugh.

... a Christmas card from someone you haven't spoken to in a long time.

... wrapping the last present and then sitting back to admire the way it looks.

... the sound of a logs on a fire.

... the promise of dinner and drinks with people who care about you.

... the echo of bells on Christmas Eve at midnight, when the churches of the world ring out messages of peace and love.

... knowing that there are four days where you don't have to work.

... the thrill of knowing that somewhere, someone is thinking of you and wishing you well.

... the smell of pumpkin pie baking in the oven.

... the way family pretends, for just a little while, that nothing matters except spending time together.

... the awe and wonder of Santa Clause and the hope, even as an adult, that just maybe he'll be here soon.

... hugs.

May everyone on my flist have a safe and wonderful Holiday. I wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Joyous New Year.

This entry was partially written in response to the

therealljidol Free Week Challenge: Joy (my choice). There will NOT be voting for this week's entries.

( That monthly changes in her circled orb )

This entry was written in response to the

therealljidol Challenge 12: Favorite Stories. There will be voting for this week's entries. I will make sure to link to the poll once it is put up and I would appreciate it if you would vote for me if you enjoy my entry. As always, feedback is welcome and appreciated.