Aww, sweetheart! <3 I'm so sorry. This is completely unfair and you deserved a lot more, that's for sure! In the years I've seen you write, though, I can tell you that... the intensity and the passion you put into your projects... someone who has kind of shared the same road, you can always kind of tell those folks. -soft smile- I think for someone to have the kind of gift you do, the journey had to have some bumps. It sucks that that's the case, but... truly, sweetheart, you're someone most of us rush to read!
Even though my parents had their social relationship with drugs up until the late 70s (and my father had a passing fling with coke in the mid-90s), they both loved their alcohol! It wasn't until my mom found Jesus (again) in the 80s, and decided she didn't drink, anymore, then my father was a lone alcoholic until fairly recently. And despite the years and years and YEARS of their knock-down drag-outs (and the yelling, and the name calling, and ALL the trips the cops made out to the house ;P), they never could commit to a full-on divorce. They separated many times, with the whole, "Who do you want to live with?" forcing each of their kids to, in turn (like the monster's they were ;P), choose which parent they loved more at that moment (or less, I suppose ;P). And when you're faced with that kind of crazy, and an amazing older sister, the older sister starts to look pretty good, or so I'm told! So, lucky me! ;D Thus explains why I had two teenagers right out of high school! ;D
I'm really sorry, though, that you had to experience any of this. =/ It sucks that your dad was this selfish! It was unfair everyone, of course, but as a kid, it's never easy to understand how an adult can make a choice like that! I mean, for us it's like a decision is to choose between Cap'n' Crunch or Cookie Crisp! Watching The Smurfs or The Snorks (I know, I'm totally dating myself right now!). But we don't learn until much later that even when we're making selfish decisions, it's not that easy. Because, giving up on the people we love, also means we've given up on ourselves. And as unfair as all the rest of it was/is, they were human, too, not without hopes and dreams and goals... a sad situation all the way around.
I hope you don't think I'm being too judgemental. And I hope you don't mind me sharing my personal stuff with you, either. I know our paths haven't been the same (wow, all that you've accomplished... I wanted law school SO MUCH, but my grades didn't support it, and neither did having two teenagers right out of high school. -laughing-), but just knowing that we share this and that even though I wasn't able to make that my dream, someone in a similar situation did... I think that's just amazing!
Ultimately, though, I'm really sorry you lost your dad. I'm sorry for all that that you had to overcome! I sure hope you're proud of everything you've done! I'm sure I'm not the first person to be inspired by you, but maybe the first person, today! ;) Sending you big hugs!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2018-11-03 01:58 pm (UTC)Even though my parents had their social relationship with drugs up until the late 70s (and my father had a passing fling with coke in the mid-90s), they both loved their alcohol! It wasn't until my mom found Jesus (again) in the 80s, and decided she didn't drink, anymore, then my father was a lone alcoholic until fairly recently. And despite the years and years and YEARS of their knock-down drag-outs (and the yelling, and the name calling, and ALL the trips the cops made out to the house ;P), they never could commit to a full-on divorce. They separated many times, with the whole, "Who do you want to live with?" forcing each of their kids to, in turn (like the monster's they were ;P), choose which parent they loved more at that moment (or less, I suppose ;P). And when you're faced with that kind of crazy, and an amazing older sister, the older sister starts to look pretty good, or so I'm told! So, lucky me! ;D Thus explains why I had two teenagers right out of high school! ;D
I'm really sorry, though, that you had to experience any of this. =/ It sucks that your dad was this selfish! It was unfair everyone, of course, but as a kid, it's never easy to understand how an adult can make a choice like that! I mean, for us it's like a decision is to choose between Cap'n' Crunch or Cookie Crisp! Watching The Smurfs or The Snorks (I know, I'm totally dating myself right now!). But we don't learn until much later that even when we're making selfish decisions, it's not that easy. Because, giving up on the people we love, also means we've given up on ourselves. And as unfair as all the rest of it was/is, they were human, too, not without hopes and dreams and goals... a sad situation all the way around.
I hope you don't think I'm being too judgemental. And I hope you don't mind me sharing my personal stuff with you, either. I know our paths haven't been the same (wow, all that you've accomplished... I wanted law school SO MUCH, but my grades didn't support it, and neither did having two teenagers right out of high school. -laughing-), but just knowing that we share this and that even though I wasn't able to make that my dream, someone in a similar situation did... I think that's just amazing!
Ultimately, though, I'm really sorry you lost your dad. I'm sorry for all that that you had to overcome! I sure hope you're proud of everything you've done! I'm sure I'm not the first person to be inspired by you, but maybe the first person, today! ;) Sending you big hugs!