LJ Idol 2: Oh, my God! That pen is a syringe!

[bewize]

"I always dream of a pen that would be a syringe."

— Jacques Derrida



What are you?

"I am awesome."

Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement.

"I am awesome, on occasion."

That sounds a bit self-congratulatory.

"I sometimes exhibit attributes that one might attribute to someone who is awesome."

Well that just sounds stupid. And like the fine print on a contract that no one actually reads.

"I am pretty good."

Now you just sound ludicrous. And, remember that your high school English teacher used to criticize 'pretty' and 'very' as useless adjectives. You either are or aren't. Also, what the hell does 'good' mean?

"I am decent."

Really? That's not what So and So said after last weekend.

"Shut up!"

Totally not something a 'decent' person would shout.

"I am generally kind."

Begrudgingly, I can't argue that. But you are also a total and complete bitch.

"I am a contradiction of terms."

Now you're getting somewhere.

"I have been known to be bitchy, but I have the general reputation of someone who is kind."

How much of that did you earn?

"Oh, I earned it all."

That's right! Own it!

"I am what I am."

Way to not understand owning something, moron.

"I try really hard."

So does cement.

"That makes no sense."

Your mom!

"What?"

You do realize that this is a conversation with yourself, don't you? What kind of person argues with herself like this?

"I'm under a lot of stress."

Your whole life is stress.

"I regret that."

Your life is filled with regret. Kind of pathetic if you ask me.

"You know what, I didn't ask you."

You didn't really have to verbalize it to effectively ask me. I am you.

"I hate you."

Now, isn't that a scary truth?

"… you're right. I love you?"

Lies.

"I love the idea of you?"

Is that a question?

"I love the idea of you."

Why?

"Because I have such grand ideas of what you could become."

Second most honest statement you've made in this conversation.

"I'm afraid to ask what took first place there."

You should be.

"You make no sense."

You make no sense.

"… are you going to say 'your mom' again?"

Maybe.

"Sometimes, I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about."

Or fighting for?

"Or fighting for."

Yet, you keep going.

"I do."

Why?

"Because, at the end of it all… I really am kind of awesome."

Word.

This entry was written for Topic 2: Deconstruction at therealljidol. I assume voting will take place later this week. Everyone should check out all the good entries!

Comments

[haruka]

That was cool. The 'your mom' thing was XD

[bewize]

Thank you!

I feel like this may have been a risky piece for the purposes of the competition, but I am absurdly pleased with how it came out.

And the "your mom" thing flowed so naturally that I should probably be afraid now. *lol*