LJ Idol 00: My Elevator Speech

[bewize]

Supposedly, everyone should have an elevator speech ready in a moment's notice. Thirty seconds isn't much time to persuade someone that we are an ideal candidate for a job, or a date, or a bizarre opportunity, but "smart" people have one on hand.

I have no elevator speech.

Perhaps this is a mistake.

Perhaps if I had an elevator speech, I wouldn't have been laid off in February.

Perhaps if I had an elevator speech, I would have chatted up that hot guy who sold diamonds on the 10th floor of the building I used to work in and being living in Zurich or Paris right now.

Perhaps if I had an elevator speech, I would have impressed someone famous in passing and could have travelled the world with a chance at being famous myself.

I could be the best in the world at elevator speeches. I shall now practice.

In case I run into a potential boss:

"Hello, my name is Bewize. I'm a litigation attorney, with an excellent record, and no fear in the court room. I like clients, and more importantly, clients like me."

In case I run into a potential date:

"Hi! I'm Bewize. I like action movies and sports. I love going out to eat and I prefer pubs and bars to dance clubs. I like to travel, and… ummm… I'm bendy."

In case I meet someone famous:

"Hello, I'm Bewize and I'm a fan. Also, I have the perfect screenplay in mind for you. In fact, I thought of it with you in mind. You should let me tell you about it over drinks."

More likely, even an amazing elevator speech wouldn't have changed my life in any way. Honestly, they are a terrible way to get to know someone. They leave out important details, like:

In case I run into a potential boss:

"You should probably also know that I haven't ever really enjoyed working in a Big Firm and my two experiences both ended badly. I have Boss PTSD now."

In case I run into a potential date:

"I require a lot of personal space and if you snore, you will sleep on the sofa. With the cats, who, by the way were there first, so don't kick them off."

In case I meet someone famous:

"I really don't know who you are, but I feel like you could be useful to me in my life, therefore, I shall suck up."

Most of these facts are true. (And if I met a famous person, I could come up with a screenplay in a matter of seconds, if it mattered.)

I am a mass of contradictions. I am a lawyer who doesn't like lawyers for the most part (with certain exceptions!). I like action movies, but a well done romantic comedy is a thing of beauty to be cherished. I dislike clubs, but love to dance. I like meeting famous people, because I like picking their brains to figure out what they did right.

In case I meet someone in therealljidol who wants to know more about me:

I should also point out that I am a freelance writer. I opened my own law firm this year. I have had so many health problems of late that I am operating under the theory that 2009 is trying to kill me. I like television. I'm reading classic literature that I feel I should have read in the past, but didn't, in order to keep my brain from atrophying.

Oh, and I am bendy.

This entry was written in response to the therealljidol Challenge 00 – Introductions. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated..

Comments

[stormkitty.livejournal.com]

I like both sets of elevator speeches. Best of luck this season!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[ladymako71.livejournal.com]

I like your intro, very innovative and insightful. =) Good luck to you this season!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *lol*

And good luck to you, too, if you're playing. I need to go and read intros...

[emo-snal.livejournal.com]

Good intro. And I've only said that to like four people. (:

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly.

I must be in excellent company! ;)

[fourzoas.livejournal.com]

Bendy-ness is important. Critical, even.

What are you reading these days? I'm looking for some new brain food.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

My friend and I are doing it together for fun. Thus far we've read Animal Farm and Jamaica Inn. I'm working my way through The Old Curiosity Shop (Dickens) at the moment. There are more books lined up!

Brain food.... yummy.

[comedychick.livejournal.com]

My husband was a lawyer who hated working in a firm (he hasn't been in a large one), so started his own, which he ran for about six years until he decided to do something new. I don't think he likes too many other lawyers either, especially if they represent insurance companies. He hates insurance companies.

Good luck with your own firm. Do you specialise in any particular areas? My husband tended toward IT Law.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

LOL. I worked insurance defense in my last job. Prior to that I did Plaintiff's work in wrongful foreclosure.

Now I do a bit of everything to pay the bills. :)

[imafarmgirl.livejournal.com]

Grins. This was great. Looking forward to all your other entries too.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

*bows*

Glad to entertain, madam. Looking forward to the new season!

[beautyofgrey.livejournal.com]

Well now... I need to work on MY elevator speech. Nice intro!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, I wish you better luck than I had. I'm pretty sure I've yet to come up with a good one.

:)

[twystedpixie.livejournal.com]

This somewhat reminds me of the way my favorite cousin, a bipolar paramedic-cum-MMA fighter, once mockingly used to say he should pick up girls: "Hi, my name is Kevin. I'm a manic depressive who hates most people, has quit college twice, and hasn't held down a job for more than 3 months at a time due to boredom. Wanna go out?"

I laughed, but there was some truth in what he said. We all put our best foot forward in introductions, whereas there is always the counterbalance of self-derision. Ultimately I think most of us fall somewhere in the middle, hopefully leaning toward the former...at least the part of me that always sees the best in people thinks so. :D

[seeksadventure.livejournal.com]

I pretty much love your cousin's elevator speech there.

[joeymichaels.livejournal.com]

You had me at "bendy."

[bewize.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

Did I now?

*grins*

[http://users.livejournal.com/____hejira/]

I have always enjoyed your writing. Welcome back to the insanity that is Lj Idol.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you, muchly!

I'm glad to be back and was glad to see your name in the crowd, though I've not made it through the intros yet.

[mermaidkween.livejournal.com]

Bendy is a good thing.


And that's what I hate about elevator speeches - they leave out so much. I think I haven't gotten a job yet because I tend to include too much. Maybe I just need practice.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

If you're bendy, you rarely break. :)

You and me both. *hugs*

[seeksadventure.livejournal.com]

You make me laugh with your snarkiness and you are bendy. These are two important things I look for in my mentors, I'll have you know.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Awwww.

Thanks. I really appreciate that, both comments.

(By the way, it's not too late for you to play, if you're toying with the idea. I think you'd be really good at this and it's a lot of fun.)

[baxaphobia.livejournal.com]

bewize is back! Great intro! You made me smile!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

I'm back! From outerspace!

Wait... wrong song.

I'm glad I made you smile. *hugs*

[catwomyn5.livejournal.com]

The bendy comments made me snarf my coffee. :)

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha.

My work here is done. (Are we having dinner tomorrow night?)

[chix001.livejournal.com]

Yeah! Love it!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

Like I mentioned above, it's not too late to play, if you're thinking about it. I think you'd be good at it and have fun. :)

[dabhug.livejournal.com]

I knew I liked you.

Nice job!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Awwww, I LIKE YOU TOO!

*twirls*

Thanks. :)

[drjeff.livejournal.com]

Lovely... I will look forward to reading more!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I hope I don't disappoint. :)

[zia-narratora.livejournal.com]

Aw! I liked this post, it was a very telling intro to the way your mind works! Good luck and nice meeting you!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

LOL. My mind works?

Good lord. Who knew? ;)

Thanks!

[so-small.livejournal.com]

I like your elevator speeches! Best of luck and nice meeting you :)

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Same to you.

[shadowwolf13]

So glad to see you back!!

Best of luck this season. :)

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's good to be back.

Same to you!

[onda-bianca.livejournal.com]

This is awesome.

The bendy thing made me laugh. Out loud. Like a real lol. That's a good thing to tell a potential date. I wish I were more bendy!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Flexibility is a virtue. *grins*

[misalady.livejournal.com]

Love how you handled the intro.

Good luck this season!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[beloved-tree.livejournal.com]

I really liked this intro. The elevator speech technique framed it well and made it interesting and unique.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

I like this post a lot. :)

Back when I was still going to UU church instead of Quaker meeting, I was always trying to come up with the "Unitarian Universalist elevator speech" based on something I'd read in one of the newsletters. I never really felt like I got it right - satirical came more easily than serious.

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree. Satire is usually easier, especially about religion. *lol*

I'm glad you liked the post. Nice to meet you!

[pixie117.livejournal.com]

Loved it! Great intro!

[bewize.livejournal.com]

Thank you!