bewize | Entries tagged with r/l

P and I ran 3.5 miles yesterday. I hurt in strange and interesting places now, mainly my right hip. (This is not that unusual, actually. But the pain is different this time.)

I can tell I've not been running as much lately. It took 42 minutes (Yipes!) and I had to walk about 3 minutes in the last mile. *fails* Also, I proceeded to spend the rest of the evening hacking up lung bits. Yuck.

BUT... I finished and I did run most of it. I probably ran about 3 miles and walked a half? Maybe I walked a bit less.

Then P made this AWESOME dinner. (A bit point heavy, but the run earned me 11 Activity Points, and I only used up 6 of those for the day, so... not too shabby!)

I stayed up too late watching the Falcons lose (don't really care) and then crashed out. I'm gearing up to battle S about every detail of the move - why is it that he didn't care until it was time and now he thinks he can override everything I've done? Don't think so, pal.

So, it's about 5 hours after I started writing this. I've been to a funeral, a dry cleaner and a bar. My life sounds like its leading to a punchline, doesn't it? (I drank water at the bar, fyi.)

The phones are no longer functional, so here's hoping they will be soon!

xxfingersxx

This is the first sentence/few sentences from the first post of every month this year. (This is my life. And it sums up perfectly my year. God, no wonder I'm tired!)

January: I have all the usual resolutions - exercise more, eat less, lose weight, save more money, etc. But, I'm not going to resolve about those. They'll just depress me.

February: 10 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed. One fell off and hit his head. Mama called the doctor and the doctor said: "This is the strongest antibiotic on the market right now. Normally, I'd give you five days, but this is getting ridiculous, so I'm giving you 10. If you're not better by next Tuesday, call me. Me. And get me on the phone so that we can have a conversation back and forth."

March: So, I'm watching the third snowfall of the year from the giant window in the living room. About 80% of the people who may be reading this just burst out laughing, but hey! In Georgia, that's a BIG DEAL! (Ironic, because it's snowing right now! Glee!)

April: Have a Good Friday. No, really. Have one! Other than the fact that it took me 45 minutes to find a place to make reservations for Easter Sunday lunch, the day is going well. I've got baseball tickets for tomorrow and Monday. Whee!

May: Good Lord... So, Thursday happened. It wasn't bad, it was just busy. And then Friday and... you get the point.

June: Two Things: 1. I am home safe and sound. :) 2. I am in need of new living arrangements. I'd like either: a cheap place to rent in Decatur or a roommate who will help make any Decatur rental cheap.

July: I am not in a good mood and am just looking to start a fight.

August: I don't think therapists talk to you about your balloon popping phobias, do they? Guys, that's a line of actual conversation I just had. V suggested that I try Xanax, but I already have a 'script for that. She thinks I should take it more often and not let it sit in the cupboard.

September: After I left yesterday, apparently the shit hit the fan. Or at least S hit the bookshelf and toppled a shelf of books, then prevented Asshole Attorney from running for his life by blocking the door. (He did not touch Asshole Attorney.)

October: *headdesk* So remember when I talked abut paying off the Damn Discover Card a few days ago? Well, I made a balance transfer and then sent my entire "bonus" straight to Discover Card, which was great right up until I just realized that I forgot to cancel the payment coming out of my bank account.

November: I'm going to ramble a minute about my godson, so excuse me for it. But... last night was his first trick or treat and watching him experience reminded me of all the wonderful things about Halloween that got lost when I reached the age of alcohol and parties.

December: I'm so brain dead. I should have gone to bed at least an hour ago, but then Top Chef came on... *fails*.

I managed (somehow) to finish the Yuletide fic I was assigned. The recipient hasn't responded yet, but I'm pretty happy with it and that's good. :)

I also finished the gift fic I was working on and that's gone over well. ♥

Yesterday, I ended up being off most of the day. I finished up a lot of things in the morning, then played Santa for a bit in the afternoon, then went to Pyng Ho for our annual Christmas Eve Chinese Food Extravaganza! I think this is year like... 5 or 6. The family that owns it is awesome and we always end up drinking way past closed, so luckiy, I wasn't driving home.

Then, as an extra bonus, there's a 'blizzard' hitting the southern US, so I can't even drive to AL to visit family. Instead, I'm stuck in the ATL (which I don't really mind at all). This morning was about Santa Clause for M, and it was one of the most fun things I've done in a long time.

We stayed up until late late late last night assembling things that Santa brought - like the red wagon that I arranged a month ago and which is the big hit of the day, I think. He loves it. He's napped in it, put all his other toys in it, and then ate lunch in it. LOL. Victory!

I got gift cards to Starbucks and iTunes and a bunch of gym stuff, which I'm thrilled about. I got a big bag to carry everything in and several pairs of pants and running shirts and jackets and such. S got me a titanium necklace, which is supposed to work wonders, and which I am wearing. So far... all I feel is tired.

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YULETIDE!

OMG!

YULETIDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I must have been very good this year.

The Electro Menace. Ummm. *freaks out* SOMEONE WROTE ME SPIDER-MAN AND HIS AMAZING FRIENDS FIC! *gleegasms* It's got Bobby and Peter and Angelica all being friends and being awesome and fighting crime and yay!

Where the Wind Don't Blow and the Good Girls Die. This is a fic set to the video of The Killers - A Dustland Fairytale and it is so much better than anything I could have ever hoped for. It's sad and bittersweet and touching and it reached inside and grabbed something vital and twisted. But, damn, if it wasn't perfect.

Four Ways Brandon Flowers Never Met Charlize Theron (With Ninjas). So, Brandon Flowers has a thing with Ninjas. And it is awesome. Seriously, the only thing wrong with this fic is that it wasn't written for Yuletide as a whole, because it is AMAZING.

I am seriously thinking of going to nap for a bit. There will be more festivities later, I'm sure, but I'm tired and happy and feeling pretty awesome right now. And then, when I wake up, YULETIDE ARCHIVES!!!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day, because I sure am. ♥

ETA: OH yeah! The Recathon is complete, with everything being a success. I'll be sure to post links later for the curious. Thanks to everyone for their help! I'll put up something a bit more official about that, too. ♥

My life is out of control and I cannot keep up. Work is making me sick to my stomach with stress and if one more person tells me to calm down, I will lose my shit. Don't be that person. Just don't.

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This weekend happened. There are many things that I would like to talk about, but some of them are making me twitchy, so I don't even know where to start. That and the fact that some of the things that are making me twitchy were within my power to control and I let it happen and I don't know if I'm okay with that or not either.

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The people who are supposed to move our phones should be here in 3 minutes. I don't have the keys. I'm pissed about this.

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Met with the phone people. Had lunch. Saw this vid (thanks A!!).

Feeling better, though still overwhelmed. Food helped. A lot. (Apparently, I'm hollow. I've now had toast and fried rice today and I'll probably eat at least one more time. Oink. [I'm being sarcastic. Usually I skip breakfast, though, and all day today I've been starving!])

I've got a giant pile of work on the desk that I've not managed to get to today. I don't know that I'm going to get there today, either. Nor do I really care.

I'll get there eventually.

Right now, things at work are going pretty well. I've got two pretty big cases that are both in active settlement negotiations. I also picked up another BIG case that I'm really enthusiastic about, because it should be a clear case of settling to avoid bigger dramaz.

I'm trying to find out if my notary stamp is back, because I need it for a closing tomorrow. I think I may have to cancel the closing, though, because I can't do it if I don't' have the stamp.

I totally stood someone up for lunch today and feel a bit bad about it. I did send her a text when I realized, but I had a client come in and the meeting took way longer than I anticipated.

In other news, we signed our new lease! Whoot! I'm so excited about it. :) A new office, bigger space (for me, at least!), my name on the door. It's awesome!

The new laptop is also awesome.

Life is pretty awesome.

Honestly, I feel completely high at the moment. It's pretty good. :D

It's Monday.

Again.

WTF?!

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This weekend was quiet and that was great. I alternatively avoided going out to dinner/out for drinks/to the beer festival/to a party and assorted other things that I felt like I "should" do, but that I just didn't have the energy for.

I still don't have energy.

My chest is croupy and all the running has drained me to nothing. Except the fat - that's still hanging on for dear life. *rolls eyes*

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It was gorgeous this weekend. I did see pumpkins (bought some) and the air show at the base - didn't even have to leave the neighborhood. The planes were all overhead. It was insane. I've never seen one before but holy cow - it was a mix of terrifying and surreality and sheer amazement.

I know that they are instruments of war and destruction, but there is an unbelievable beauty and grace about those planes that makes me think that even in the midst of our self-destruction, humanity seeks out the best parts of ourselves and highlights it.

Mattie was not impressed. They were loud and it scared him. He hid his face and cried. Bless.

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I finished the run 2.2 miles everyday for a week plan. I ran 15.4 miles last week. Holy cow. I have to say - it got a lot easier through sheer repetition. I need to kick up my speed though. A lot.

I brought my running stuff to go to ASC after work today - if I feel like it - and try and see if I can't bust out a few 11.5 minute miles. If I walk between them that should help. But it's getting embarrassing that I'm not improving when I'm putting so much effort into maintaining.

I shall skip my "I'm frustrated" rant in favor of silence.

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Verizon pissed me off. I may switch to AT&T and get the damn iPhone, which is what I wanted in the first place. And the patronizing manager that I exchanged words with yesterday can suck it.

I'm so tired, I'm nearly hysterical with it. You know what though? It's different than normal. I'm physically worn out, but my mind is relatively peaceful. I think it's the peace that comes with literally having done everything that I can do.

I have a mantra: Work harder, work faster, work smarter, work more.

I tell myself this all the time. But... there comes a point where you max out and I think I've hit that point. I've been trying to figure out why I'm so mentally exhausted lately and there you have it.

I think I'm done.

But I'm not panicky about it. I think things are going to be okay. I've worked hard, built momentum, and now I'm watching it slide and just praying that it's going to slide into place. And if it doesn't? Well, I'll deal with that then.

( Morning )

I've picked up a few new clients, which is always good. Maybe I can get enough money in to cover some of the expenses I've got coming up.

I'd really like a vacation, please. Something where I sleep a lot and maybe lay on a beach and do nothing more strenuous than read a book.

Why isn't this my life?

Lately, I've felt very disengaged from my life. I don't know what that's about and I don't particularly like it. I genuinely feel like there are huge parts of my last month that I just don't remember and can't recall.

I think I need more fun. And no, smartasses, I don't need less drugs. (Someone thought it.)

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I went to WW this morning and was down, but not by much. I'm sadly disappointed. But not enough to give up. I'll try harder this week, do more, eat better. That's what I've got, so that's what I'll do. I may try running and the 30 Day Shred. The two together should have some effect, right?

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My hearing this morning went about as expected, but without the humiliation I feared may be heading my way. So, that's a win, I suppose.

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I've got articles to do. And other things to do, too. And a Braves Game tonight.

I'd best get to it.

My body hates me and is trying to kill me. I now have got stomach issues from hell, have puked 4 times, and am running a fever of 100*.

Why me?

I'm cheating. This technically fell on either one of the Dragon*Con days or on yesterday, the day of my big mediation. I'm... not up to posting about yesterday yet. And Dragon*Con will result in a post with equal mix of SQUEEEEEEEEEEE/RAAAAAAAGEEEEEEEEE, so I'm going to just pick up today. I'm not going to play catch up, you'll just have to keep reading from this day forward.

I stayed up way too late last night reading Mockingjay, which I finished at some nebulous time around 3 or 4. I didn't even look at the clock so I couldn't keep reminding myself how tired I was today because I got so little sleep.

Mattie came in and woke me up at about 8, although I'd heard him a few times before he actually came in. I stumbled out of bed and did the bathroom thing, although I didn't change, because I didn't want to go to work right away.

After I was alone, I drank two cups of coffee and made a few phone calls. Then I checked emails and sent off a few that needed answers. I tried to set up my second story interview and I need to finish setting up some magazine interviews.

At about 10:30, I decided I was starving. So I made lunch, although I didn't sit to eat until I put hair dye on my hair. I've got a haircut appointment tonight and I don't want to get it cut with all the grays showing.

Now, I'm watching "Say Yes to the Dress" (Umm, what is this show!?) and updating journals and stuff.

I'm going to go into the office later today with plans to finish 3 demand letters and 1 divorce petition. I'm also engaged in an email battle with Fulton County today, so that should be fun. Tonight, after the haircut, I'm going to have dinner with Nat.

I need to do two loads of laundry and my sister is coming into town this weekend, so I should probably also do a bit of cleaning.

S is working from home today with a sick puppy, so I really see no reason to race into the office. Good thing since I now have to shower the hair dye out! LOL. Plus, really, I need to see if this woman spends $12,000 on a wedding dress. Because, seriously, even if I had an unlimited amount of money, I wouldn't drop that kind of cash on a dress I was going to wear once. I'm not that ~~ridiculous~~ romantic.

The Meme:
Day 01 - Introduction
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
( If you'd like to play along )

Sorry about my freak out yesterday. No one should have to see that. *lol*

I spent the rest of my afternoon in a bit of a daze, then went home and watched the rest of S2 of My Name is Earl. (I cried. WTF, a comedy isn't supposed to make me cry!) Then, I met a friend at Twains and had a drink. I got home again at 11:30, chatted with Dave for a bit, then fell asleep.

Apparently, I turned my alarm off, because I didn't actually make it out of bed until 9:45, which sucked, because I needed to be at the office by 10. Somehow, I made it here by 10:10, got everything done that was supposed to be done by 11. I left my iPod charger at home, though, and forgot half my meds. Thankfully, someone has a charger that I've appropriated for a bit and I'm going home at lunch to oversee more moving stuff.

I really want to thank everybody for their kind words yesterday. It means a lot to me that you all think that I can get through this. Sometimes, when I'm pretty sure I can't, I remember that all of the smartest people I know disagree with me. It helps. So, GIANT HUGS to you all.

I've done 3 interviews this morning and have a forth lined up for this afternoon. I'm going to write and track down wayward attorneys who owe me things all afternoon. With any luck, I can get caught up to myself before the long weekend.

So, Thursday happened. It wasn't bad, it was just busy. And then Friday and... you get the point. I've just now (at 11:20 am) caught up on all the links I had open to read from Thursday morning (though I skipped the fic for now).

I want to lounge and play, but I'm headed of to a tiny comic book con to go and poke around and such. I've got a wedding to attend tonight and I've got one other thing I need to do this afternoon, but that involves being on a comp for a while.

Also, I want foods.

Also, also... my hands ache. I wrote a 6700 word gift-fic for someone last night in 3 hours. I was in the zone... but owie!

I'll catch up with the internets later, but if I'm missing something I shouldn't be... tell me?

Yesterday morning I received a phone call about my great aunt. She'd fallen over the weekend and landed on a radiator. Without any idea what caused the fall and because she suffered several severe burns, she was transferred to the Burn Center in Augusta, Georgia.

( Read more... )